I am in Vermont, where I have spent Christmas visiting family. My plan was to leave today (Monday) but a snowstorm is blasting its way along my travel route. After consulting Weather.com with my sister, I decided to spend an extra day here to let the snow play itself out and be one of the few who make the right decision to stay off the highways. Besides, I am one of those annoying, super-slow, overly cautious snow drivers that confident drivers (or A-H’s) hate to get behind, so not only am I doing myself a favor by hopefully avoiding a possible car accident, I am responsible for controlling the blood pressure of hundreds of Vermonters and New Yorkers who would otherwise be stuck crawling behind my Camry like angry pearls on a string. So…youze guyz: be thankful this flatlander is out of your way today.
I learned how to drive in snow during the ice age of rear-wheel vehicles, graduated to front-wheel drive, then briefly drove an all-wheel drive Subaru (which we still have but is too old to trust for long distances). You would think years of experience would have built a mountain of confidence in maneuvering through snow and ice-covered roadways and whiteouts, especially since my commute to work is 23 miles of hills, winding roads and highway driving. I have driven over roads that were washboards of frozen slush, slid over black ice (which is the kind of ice you find when you suddenly find yourself doing a pirouette on wheels). I have plowed through snow drifts, been assaulted by sidewalk-sized ice slabs exploding off the tops of tractor-trailers at 80 mph, kicked boulder chunks of accumulated frozen muck off my wheel wells so the tires could spin, have scraped the ice off the INSIDE as well as the outside of my car windows. You would think I would motor out onto a snow-covered highway as if were about to drive down South Florida’s Route 75.
My self confidence in driving in snow; however, seems to have worked in reverse. These years of near misses, skids and slides have not been building bricks of bravery but rather, each experience has shorn away another layer of blind belief that nothing bad will happen. It is as if I was born with a finite pile of Nerve and every drive through a storm of ice or snow or slush (or all three mixed together), another line is subtracted from the total, leaving a little less for the next time. Multiply that times 35+ years of driving and my Nerve Pile has shrunk to a trembling puddle of jello. And while you would want me to chauffer you over a snowy road over someone who has never done it before, I would sooner stay put, sip another hot chocolate and call it a day.
And so I am.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Merry Christmas!
Tomorrow is a travel day for me as I head north to join my family in fun and frolic, children and dogs and laughter. Before leaving, I wish you all a wonderful, memorable, safe, happy holiday!
Merry Christmas to our home to yours!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Toys R Not Us
Nowhere is the gap between those who have children and those who do not more obvious than when you step into a store designed for kids.
Since I am an Adult Without Children, I have no reason to step foot in these stores. The death-defying drama of jumping on the last stuffed hamster has passed me by. While I have had my tearful moments of regret at not having had children, I had no idea what I was missing. I found out today.
My lunch hour plan was to zip over to Toys R Us to pick up a “few fun items” as stocking stuffers for my Christmas visit to Vermont where I am looking forward to being with my family and the kids like you would not believe. This will be neat, I thought. I will find some cutesy stuff for the adults too, just for laughs. And off I went; innocent, childless, ToysRUs newbie me in all my holiday bliss.
When I spilled into the front door with ten thousand others, there was a line of men and women hunkered down against the wall. Their sleepless bodies were folded over shopping carts filled with bags and boxes as if they had been there since last year. The line snaked through the bike section. There was no end to it. At first I thought they were waiting to be checked out but then realized they were RETURNING STUFF.
It’s December 21st.
I hesitated to go further but my mission called. My eyes swept the warehouse of toys. There were green dinosaurs grinning out of cellophane boxes, legions of plastic armies, board games, black and silver tee shirts, art supplies, drum sets, software programs for 2+ year-olds (I could probably use those at work), red and green puzzles of smiling boys and girls, Sponge Bob Square Pants staring at the wall. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a stuffed pony big enough for a two-year old TO SIT ON, and thought hungrily: if they had a stuffed horse a 50-something year-old could sit on, I would totally mortgage my house to buy it.
I thought: Maybe I’ll just grab Ava an aluminum pot and a wooden spoon. She can bang away all she wants and then use it as a soup pot in her freshman year. Her Vermont parents will love the economy of it.
TO ALL PARENTS: My hat is off to you. Not only do you brave the halls of a legal nuthouse for the sake of satisfying your children’s desires, wade through the aisles of books and toys that sing and cluck and shoot and beep, and then battle other loving parents and grandparents who would kill you to grab the last ___, you also feel obligated to send those same children to college.
You are all AWESOME!
Since I am an Adult Without Children, I have no reason to step foot in these stores. The death-defying drama of jumping on the last stuffed hamster has passed me by. While I have had my tearful moments of regret at not having had children, I had no idea what I was missing. I found out today.
My lunch hour plan was to zip over to Toys R Us to pick up a “few fun items” as stocking stuffers for my Christmas visit to Vermont where I am looking forward to being with my family and the kids like you would not believe. This will be neat, I thought. I will find some cutesy stuff for the adults too, just for laughs. And off I went; innocent, childless, ToysRUs newbie me in all my holiday bliss.
When I spilled into the front door with ten thousand others, there was a line of men and women hunkered down against the wall. Their sleepless bodies were folded over shopping carts filled with bags and boxes as if they had been there since last year. The line snaked through the bike section. There was no end to it. At first I thought they were waiting to be checked out but then realized they were RETURNING STUFF.
It’s December 21st.
I hesitated to go further but my mission called. My eyes swept the warehouse of toys. There were green dinosaurs grinning out of cellophane boxes, legions of plastic armies, board games, black and silver tee shirts, art supplies, drum sets, software programs for 2+ year-olds (I could probably use those at work), red and green puzzles of smiling boys and girls, Sponge Bob Square Pants staring at the wall. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a stuffed pony big enough for a two-year old TO SIT ON, and thought hungrily: if they had a stuffed horse a 50-something year-old could sit on, I would totally mortgage my house to buy it.
I thought: Maybe I’ll just grab Ava an aluminum pot and a wooden spoon. She can bang away all she wants and then use it as a soup pot in her freshman year. Her Vermont parents will love the economy of it.
TO ALL PARENTS: My hat is off to you. Not only do you brave the halls of a legal nuthouse for the sake of satisfying your children’s desires, wade through the aisles of books and toys that sing and cluck and shoot and beep, and then battle other loving parents and grandparents who would kill you to grab the last ___, you also feel obligated to send those same children to college.
You are all AWESOME!
Monday, December 7, 2009
If You Can't Find a Book Group, Do-It-Yourself
For years, I whined about joining a book group but the ones I knew of were either too far, met at inconvenient times, the group was too large or too small, or there was someone in it I couldn't stand. I wanted it to be just right.
I love to read, but am not quick about it. I swoon over good writing and will spend 20 minutes reading the same page over and over to savor the images it creates. Sometimes I will read a page out loud, or copy it into my notebook to read it again later. Occasionally, a week or two will go by and I won't pick up anything to read at all. I didn't want to be hounded by having a fixed once a month date.
Well, when you want to do something your the right way, do it yourself. It was easy. I just invited people who were at the top of my favorites list and asked them if they wanted to start a book group. How often will we meet, they asked. Oh, maybe every six weeks or so, I answered, we'll figure it out as we go along.
That was 7 years ago. We meet for brunch on Sunday mornings and take turns hosting the group. We also agreed to share leadership, so whoever is the host decides which book the group will read. She will also do any research necessary and prepare discussion questions to keep the conversation going and attempt, usually in vain, to keep the group focused. We have a tendency to laugh. I mean A LOT. In fact, there have been times when one or more of the members have not finished reading a book or even picked it up but come to Book Group anyway because we enjoy each other so much. And as our list of finished books has grown, so has our friendship.
Over time, our collective lives have mirrored the books we have read: There have been weddings, births, abandonments, death, divorce, illness, depression, relocations, murders, job losses.
That was 7 years ago. We meet for brunch on Sunday mornings and take turns hosting the group. We also agreed to share leadership, so whoever is the host decides which book the group will read. She will also do any research necessary and prepare discussion questions to keep the conversation going and attempt, usually in vain, to keep the group focused. We have a tendency to laugh. I mean A LOT. In fact, there have been times when one or more of the members have not finished reading a book or even picked it up but come to Book Group anyway because we enjoy each other so much. And as our list of finished books has grown, so has our friendship.
Over time, our collective lives have mirrored the books we have read: There have been weddings, births, abandonments, death, divorce, illness, depression, relocations, murders, job losses.
Back row from left: Me (as always, terrible photo)
Pat, Lillian, Ann, Suzanne, Wilma, Pat F.
In front: Molly & Amy
Here is a list of the books we've read so far. Many thanks to Molly for so faithfully keeping notes!
DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YAYA SISTERHOOD by Rebecca Wells
THE HOURS by Michael Cunningham
ANGLE OF REPOSE by Wallace Stegner
THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold
BLESSINGS by Anna Quindlan
SECRET LIFE OF BEES by Sue Monk Kidd
LIFE OF PI by Yann Martel
THE LAST GIRLS by Lee Smith
THE DAVINCI CODE by Dan Brown
SPARROW by Mary Doria Russell
COLD MOUNTAIN by John Frazier
TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE by Mitch Albom
THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL by Phillippa Gregory
THE SISTERS: THE SAGA OF THE MITFORD FAMILY by Mary S. Lovell
TRUE FIRES by Susan McCarthy
THE KITE RUNER by Khaled Hosseini
UNDER THE BANNER OF HEAVEN by Jon Krakauer
THE KNOWN WORLD by Edward Jones
ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
SAVING FISH FROM DROWNING by Amy Tan
SNOWFLOWER AND THE SECRET FAN by Lisa See
WHITE TEETH by Zadie Smith
DEATH IN THE GARDEN by Elizabeth Ironside
ONE THOUSAND WHITE WOMEN by Jim Fergus
MEMORY KEEPER'S DAUGHTER by Kim Edwards
CERTAIN WOMEN by Madeline L'Engle
LEVI'S WILL by W. Dale Cramer
THE SPIRIT CATCHES YOU AND YOU FALL DOWN by Anne Fadiman
THE GLASS CASTLE by Jeanette Walls
BIRDS IN FALL by Brad Kessler
PUCCINI'S GHOSTS by Morag Joss
A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS by Khaled Hosseini
MIDDLESEX by Jeffrey Eugenides
THE THIRTEENTH TALE by Diane Setterfield
PAVILION OF WOMEN by Pearl Buck
THE CLOUD ATLAS by Liam Callanan
WATER FOR ELEPHANTS by Sarah Gruen
THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO by Stieg Larsson
MOLOKAI by Alan Brennert
THE SENATOR’ WIFE by Sue Miller
EMPIRE FALLS by Richard Russo
WHAT’S BRED IN THE BONE by Robertson Davies
PEOPLE OF THE BOOK by Geraldine Brooks
THE SUGAR QUEEN by Sarah Addison Allen
THE GUERNSEY LITERARY & POTATO PEEL SOCIETY by Shaffer and Barrows
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